Monthly Archives: September 2013

1/7/14 election to replace Winslow

This from John Nunnari –

A special election to replace former Rep. Daniel Winslow in the 9th Norfolk House district will be held on Jan. 7, 2014, the House ordered on Monday. Less than half way through his second two-year term, Winslow resigned over the weekend, leaving his former House district unrepresented to take a position as vice president and general counsel at Rimini Street, a Las-Vegas-based global provider of “enterprise software support services.” The Norfolk Republican delivered his farewell address to colleagues last week during his final session as a member of the House. During that session, he cast a vote to repeal the sales tax on software design services. After the House adopted the special election order, Secretary of State William Galvin announced primaries in the special election will be held on Dec.10 and that potential candidates will have until Oct. 29 to submit at least 150 nomination signatures to local officials for certification. The district includes Norfolk, Plainville, Wrentham, one precinct in Walpole, one precinct in Millis, and two precincts in Medfield

Winslow’s farewell address

This from John Nunnari –

Transcripts from Rep. Winslow’s farewell address to the Chamber last Wednesday (right after the final vote to repeal the tech tax).


Rep. Donato banged the gavel.

WINSLOW RESIGNATION: Clerk James read the resignation of Rep. Winslow who said he had “loved every minute” of his service and said his family has been in the area since the seventeenth century.

Rep. DeLeo made his way to the rostrum pausing to greet representatives on the way.

At 4:44 p.m., Rep. DeLeo banged the gavel and introduced Rep. Winslow.

Rep. Winslow said, This will be my last time at this podium. I’ve always felt a special affection for you Mr. Speaker. I don’t know if it’s because I’m half Italian or you’re half Republican. I want to thank my leader, Mr. Jones and all my feisty friends from the second division. Mike Dukakis said you hear those alleycats and you think they’re fighting, but they’re just making more cats. The comments from the gentleman from Kingston, I do believe this chamber is an example for Congress. I’ve been able to reach across the aisle and work across the aisle. The lady from Concord worked with me to have prison inmates re-upholster the furniture in the Member’s Lounge. We modernized the definition of intellectual disability. I couldn’t have done that without the gentleman from Worcester. With the gentleman from Lynn we added tele-medicine to the health care law. The lady from Wareham and I were recognized by the Mass. Marine Trades for a bill that allowed us to make boatyards less expensive. The fellow who paints my boat really likes me know. We did the adoption task force, so women really have a choice in Mass. My friend on the Committee on Judicary. I stood for equality. I’ve made lifetime friendships in this chamber. I think this is a great incubator. I look no further than the gentleman from Dorchester. I wrote my thesis on the House. I’ve been a student of this House since I was 18. I entered this chamber in love with the institution of the House and I leave in love with the people of the House. (Applause).

The seats cleared as members hugged and greeted Rep. Winslow.

Special town meeting (STM) info

This email today from Bill Massaro –

Hi Everyone,

 A Special Town Meeting has been called for 7:30 p.m. on Monday, Oct  7  at the High School.

Three Articles will be presented for your consideration and vote.

While Articles 2 & 3 request your approval of appropriations and expenditures,  Article 1 authorizes the Selectmen to request our State legislators to file a bill transferring 2 former Medfield State Hospital properties to the Town at no or nominal cost.

Because the outcome of the vote for each of these Articles will affect Medfield’s future, I urge you to attend this meeting..

Because of your past interest and support for our extensive efforts to ensure cleanup of the environmental problems at the Hospital, to safeguard the aquifer of our main Town well, and to provide safe recreational opportunities for current and future Medfield residents,  I am sending this e-mail to request your approval of Article  1.

Article 1- Background

After 4 years of Town and resident protests and 1 year in formal Mediation with the State, agreement was finally reached in June for an adequate and appropriate DCAMM cleanup of the historic landfill alongside and in the Charles River at the Hospital.

In addition to removing contaminated fill from the aquifer, restoration of the riverbank and wetlands to historic conditions, construction of a canoe/kayak launch area, and creation of a promontory and scenic overlook, DCAMM also agreed to transfer the Hospital’s old Tubular Well-field (29 acres) and the Hospital Water Tower & land (6 acres) to the Town at no or nominal cost.

The Well-field: While not currently active, the well-field will provide the Town with a significant reserve for future needs.  Under prior Hospital property disposition legislation, the transfer could have required the Town to provide 28.8 million gallons of free water per year, in perpetuity, to any Development at the Hospital.  At todays’ rates this could have been approximately $150 thousand a year— forever!  The new proposed legislation gives the Town ownership of the Well-field with the sole condition that it can be used only in the Town’s public water supply system.

The Water Tower & Land:   The Water Tower and its land have always been part of the Hospital property and subject to sale by the State.  (The urgent need for the Town to design a replacement for the 80-year old Tower is the subject of Article 2).  Under prior property disposition legislation, while the Tower and its land would have passed to the Town after Developer sale, it was with  the condition it must be used to provide water to the Development.  The new proposed legislation gives the Town ownership of the Tower and land  with the only condition  that it must be used in the Town’s public water supply system.

Here is a map showing the locations of the 2 properties to be transferred from DCAMM to the Town:

20130928-WM-TubularWell& Water Tower HospitalAerialCropfor Town Mtg jpg

Before Legislation can be filed with the Mass House & Senate to enable DCAMM to make this transfer, Medfield must first approve it.

Please forward this e-mail to anyone you feel may be interested, and please vote in favor of Article 1  at the Oct 7 Special Town Meeting  .



BoS minutes for 9/17

Meeting Minutes
September 17,2013 draft
PRESENT: Selectmen Fisher, Peterson, DeSorgher; Assistant Town Administrator Trierweiler; Town Counsel Mark Cerel; Administrative Assistant Clarke; Mr. Sullivan, absent

The meeting convened at 7:00 PM in the Chenery Meeting Room
Chairman Fisher announced this meeting is being recorded. He asked for a moment of appreciation for our brave servicemen and women serving in Afghanistan.

Treasurer Georgia Colivas reported to the Board that on Thursday September 12, 1013, the Town along with its financial advisor, First Southwest accepted nine competitive bids from bond underwriters for $9.5M general obligation municipal purpose bonds. This 20 year issue includes the $9.5M in new bonds to finance the construction of the new town garage. The bid was awarded to Stifel, Nicolaus & Co. with an interest rate of 3.2% The bond proceeds amount to $9,546.199.50; 46,199.50 is the bond premium which will be used to pay the bond’s borrowing costs. All of the material has been reviewed by Edwards Wildman our legal counsel. Ms. Colivas feels that this interest rate of 3.2% is excellent and said that as our bonds are regarded as high quality, the Town maintaining a very low credit risk and our healthy financial position Moody’s affirmed the town’s AAl rating.
VOTE: Selectman Peterson made a motion, seconded by Selectman DeSorgher to award the sale of $9.5M Town of Medfield general obligation garage bonds to Stifel, Nicolaus & Co., at the price of $9,546,199.50 and accrued interest, if any, be hereby approved and confirmed. The bonds shall be payable on September 15th for the next 20 years. Vote was unanimous
Ms. Colivas outlined the many items that require the Selectmen signatures; a certification of the vote taken, a certification that the bonds were issued pursuant to statutes and votes of the Town and approval of the bonds; a certificate for continuing disclosure which means that the Town must provide an annual report and audited financial statements to all national and state repositories; a tax certificate detailing the use ofthe bond proceeds and that the bonds are qualified tax exempt obligation and the actual bonds amounting to $9.5M.
VOTE: Selectman Peterson made a motion, seconded by Selectmen DeSorgher to approve the bonds in accordance with what the Treasurer/Collector Georgia Colivas has read above .

Vote was unanimous

The Selectmen appreciate all the hard work done by Ms. Colivas regarding the bond issuances.

Present: Frank Perry, Tom Sweeney and Ed Beard; Tax Assessor Stan Bergeron.

Mr. Bergeron began his presentation by explaining the process for property revaluation highlighting that a full review is completed every three years. Each year there is a review of the properties that have been sold to see if it requires an adjustment of land values. He went on to say that property values have not changed much in Medfield and we recovered more quickly from the recession compared to other areas.
Bergeron said that he had heard the idea of raising the tax work off program from $500 to $1,000. The Board of Assessors are not in favor of this change as it would require having less people involved in the program and the possibility of having to tax it on a W2 as  income.’ He reported that this is for seniors to take advantage of; veterans do not qualify for this program, however, we are in the process of offering a work-off program for veterans.
Another topic discussed is the motor vehicle excise program. This will be a new version of collect pro that will go live on October 1. Bergeron said that we had to insert three years of back records; Kathy Mills did a great amount of the work. The Board was appreciative to hear this update.

Ms. Trierweiler remarked that the group of people involved at the SWAP area will work through some of the issues before coming before the Selectmen.

VOTE: Selectman Peterson made a motion, seconded by Selectman DeSorgher to call a October 21, 2013 Special Election regarding the Red Gate Farm acquisition.
Vote was unanimous
VOTE: Selectman Peterson made a motion, seconded by Selectman DeSorgher to sign the October 7, 2013 Warrant and to close the Warrant at the end ofthe September 17, 2013 Board of Selectmen meeting. Vote was unanimous
It was noted that the last day to register for the Special Town Meeting is September 27 and last day to register to be eligible to vote in the October 2151 Special Town Election is October 1, 2013

The Board is requested to sign a Conservation Restriction for property at 60 Harding Street (formerly known as the Beehive). Town Counsel supports the acceptance

VOTE: Selectman Peterson made a motion to sign the Conservation Restriction pertaining to property located at 60 Harding Street. Selectman DeSorgher seconded the motion and the vote was unanimous

VOTED to approve the September 3,2013 meeting minutes with revisions

VOTED unanimously to grant the Zullo Gallery a one-day wine and malt beverage permit for First Thursdays: October 3, November 7 and December 5, 2013 6-10:30 PM
Chairman Fisher noted that the Zullo Gallery will be celebrating their 25th Anniversary on October 3, 2013
VOTED unanimously to grant permission to Medfield Youth Lacrosse to place signs announcing registration for the Spring 2014 season. Signs in place November 1 through November 15, 2013
VOTED unanimously to grant Medfield Youth Soccer permission to place signs announcing the annual3 v 3 Soccer Tournament on October 6 at the Wheelock School fields. Signs in place September 18 through September 29, 2013
Voted unanimously to grant permission to the Medfield Lions Club to display signs from October 21 to November 3 promoting the annual Chowder Fest on November 2 at the CENTER and further grant permission to use the Town’s VMS sign at the transfer Station
to advertise the event

Ms. Trierweiler remarked that the first joint coordination meeting was held last week. With these meetings we are hoping to keep everyone informed as to what is happening in terms of the remediation. Also there will be working groups setup to keep the project moving forward.  The next Joint Coordination meeting will be held on October 21 at 3:00 PM. The Negotiating Committee will meet this Thursday September 19 in Town Hall at 7:00 PM Ms. Trierweiler pointed out that next Tuesday September 24 the state Hospital Advisory Committee, Mediation and Environmental Review Committees will attend the Selectmen’s meeting for discussion. The Negotiating Committee requests they meet with the Selectmen in Executive Session.

Mr. Peterson reported that he held “Office Hour” at the CENTER on September 6; November 13 he is designated to attend the Mini Town Hall meeting for the Hearthstone Drive neighborhood. The Medfield Foundation will host the annual Angel Run on December 8. This year the Foundation is instituting an all on-line registration for the Run. He mentioned that nominations are open for the 2014 Volunteer of the Year award.
Mr. DeSorgher met with Town Accountant Joy Ricciuto and appreciates her time with him. From what he has seen it is terrific how well the people in Town Hall work together. He attended the meeting together with other Town Hall officials, with the proponents of a medical marijuana cultivation facility. They talked about the security they would install using video cameras; it does entail high water usage and a ventilation system for the strong odor; there will be no tax revenue from the sales. The facility would be opened 24 hours each day.
The AesthetiCS Committee met and discussed types of trees for this area and they would like to see cement sidewalks with the brick strip, the same sidewalk recently constructed on Pound Street. He attended the Energy committee meeting listening to a presentation about the town of Norfolk’s solar photo vatic system. They have had a savings of 250,000 due to rate reduction. The Economic Development Committee held their first meeting and would like to have one additional member. Lyme Disease Study Committee is moving forward with the 2013 bow hunting program.
Mr. DeSorgher attended the Norfolk Hunt Club Polo Game over the weekend. About 1,200 people attended; their many acres on North Street are controlled as open space. The Hunt Club is a great organization and their profits go to preserving open space in Medfield and other towns. He met this afternoon with Nancy Kelly and Kristine to brainstorm ideas about how to use the Lord’s sign. We came up with no definitive plan and concluded that the sign will come down and be stored atthe Kelly’s. CVS Engineer let him know that a new design for the parking lot area has been completed. CVS will need to go before the Planning Board for their input. At Loeffler Lane and South Street the telephone box on the utility pole needs to be taken care of. Still pending is the street sign at Scott Road and Country Way as well as the town path near the Scribner property on Harding Street. Mr. DeSorgher received a telephone call regarding the parking at McCarthy Park. The cars park facing forward to the playing fields, which can pose a serious problem. He will have conversation with Jim Snyder at Park & Rec. This weekend will be busy in Medfield; Saturday is Medfield Day and Sunday is the Water wheel dedication at the Grist Mill. Attendees may park at St Edward parking lot and the COA mini bus will transport people to the Grist Mill. Medway is celebrating their 300th with a parade on Saturday.

Mr. Fisher encourages Medfield residents and neighbors to come to Medfield Day this Saturday. Come and meet up with old friends; it should be a great day. On October 17 Mr. Fisher will be at home ofthe Sweeney’s for a mini town hall meeting in the Indian Hill neighborhood. He hopes that neighbors will attend the Woodland Theatre production of Les Miserables as it will be fabulous. Some other productions that they are planning are Fiddler On The Roof and Spelling Bee.

Town Counsel Cerel noted that he is willing to attend the Town Charter and Bylaw Review Committee meeting for discussion on the bylaws and how they will pertain to state hospital property.
The Selectmen clarified that the fourth Tuesday meeting will focus on special groups, not a regular selectmen’s meeting.
Ms. Trierweiler addressed the mini library house on display in the back ofthe room. It was suggested that it be placed in the area to be known as the pocket park for Medfield Day, however, she thinks that the sidewalk area would be best. The project ofthe library house and
its theme “Leave One, Take One” was completed by Mare Parker-O’Toole who by the way will be leaving her job at our library to work for Wheelock College.

Selectman Peterson made a motion at 8:00 PM to adjourn the meeting, seconded by Selectman
DeSorgher. Vote was unanimous.

BoS agenda for 10/1

Tuesday October 1, 2013 @ 7:00 PM

7:00 PM Senator Timilty and Representative Garlick
Discussion regarding state budget and local aid, repeal of software tax, regulartoryproblems (i.e. double utility poles, withholding $IOO,OOOM of Chapter 90 Funds (highway)\\

7:45 PM SWAP Area at Transfer Station, Nancy Irwin

Discuss increase to number of volunteers, feasibility of a temporary shelter

Vote to sign October 21,2013 Special Town Election Warrant
Vote to award Joint Salt Bid to Eastern Minerals

Review Special Town Meeting Warrant Articles

Kelly McDermott, MFi Angel Run Co-Director requests permission to post signs promoting 8th annual Angel Run being held December 8, 2013. Requests signs in place three weeks prior to event

Medfield Public Library requests permission to set up a temporary Storywalk along the path leading to the Library, October 4 through November 1, 2013

Fall Conference for Selectmen, Saturday October 5 at Tri-County

October 11 selectman hours (not 10/4)

I have a work conflict with the first Friday in October selectman office hours, so I will instead hold my selectman office hours at The Center from 9:00 to 10:00 AM on October 11.

Medfield Cultural District wins $500

From Town Planner, Sarah Raposa –

Congratulations Medfield Cultural District and thank you to all you voted to help our Town secure the $500 prize! Kudos to the members of the listening party: Austin “Buck” Buchanan, Mare Parker-O’Toole, Jean Mineo, Kirsten D’Abate, Aditi Thatte, David Temple, Cheryl O’Malley, Richard DeSorgher, Lucille Fisher, and Rob Gregg.

Also, a sincere thanks to Jean Mineo for her dedication to and implementation of the Visions and Voices project.

Thanks all,


Wednesday, September 25, 2013



Medfield Cultural District Awarded $500 to Make Medfield More Successful

MEDFIELD, MA – Medfield Matters – Visions & Voices: Pocket Park wins $500 in the CommunityMatters Successful Communities Contest.

CommunityMatters asked people to come together, listen to their free conference call on the Secrets to Successful Communities with Ed McMahon of the Urban Land Institute, then decide on one completely achievable action for making their community more successful.  To sweeten the deal, the Orton Family Foundation sponsored the contest by offering $500 to four communities that came up with an idea or strategy for success.  The Orton Family Foundation works to build vibrant, enduring communities in the Northeast and Rocky Mountain West.

Medfield Matters – Visions & Voices: Pocket Park was chosen from among 16 entrants in the competition for the unique way that it is helping to address community challenges and build a more vibrant future.   Selected by online public voting, the four winning entries are:

–          Middlesboro, Kentucky (pop. 10,334): Discover Downtown Middlesboro plans to use temporary demonstrations to test out pop-up businesses, transform vacant lots, set up public seating in high traffic areas, and install signs that highlight future improvements. The two-day Better Block-style demonstration project will bring neighbors together to experience and envision the great potential for downtown.


–          Silverton, Oregon (pop. 9,222): With a desire to inspire ongoing conversations about real and lasting community change, the Upstream Arts Collective plans to host curated conversations about the art of neighboring. Local community collaborators and neighborhood practitioners will share their stories in a fun and collaborative atmosphere.


–          Medfield, Massachusetts (pop. 12,024): Working to create a vibrant downtown, the Medfield Cultural District plans to revitalize an underutilized pocket park with community art. The project will ask community members to write their ideas for the park on a large chalkboard set up downtown. They also plan to do an art installation through the park featuring portraits of residents.


–          Mountain View, Arkansas (pop. 2,748): A county seat characterized by a mix of artisans, professionals, retirees, retail and service occupations, this small town is an established tourist destination. People in Mountain View love to gather and play music of all sorts, and they do so nearly every weekend when the weather is good.  But traditional music is being lost to the prominence of more modern sounds; even the Arkansas Folk Festival is no longer truly “folk.” This group plans to create a music festival that will showcase traditional styles, seeking to protect local heritage and educate people about true old-time music.

Visit to see the entrants and winners.

About Medfield Matters – Visions & Voices: Pocket Park

Our listening party was inspired by the concepts of engaging citizens to tell the Town what they want for the improvements of a downtown pocket park. “Visions and Voices” will be a community art project to focus attention on this underutilized asset in the heart of downtown between Zebra’s Bistro and Starbucks. Partnering organizations will work to ensure that the enhancements made will be practical and useful for many to enjoy – adding to the aesthetic and vitality of our lovely downtown.


About CommunityMatters

CommunityMatters is an interactive exchange for individuals and organizations working to engage citizens and build strong, vibrant communities from the ground up. CommunityMatters fuels a growing network of leaders, thinkers and doers in a variety of disciplines – planning, sustainability, health, democracy, education, economic development, and the arts. CommunityMatters is a project of the Orton Family Foundation, in collaboration with other partners.


About The Orton Family Foundation

The Orton Family Foundation believes that empowering people to shape the future of their communities will improve local decision-making, create a shared sense of belonging, and ultimately strengthen the social, cultural and economic vibrancy of each place. Orton helps communities navigate change by offering programs and tools that engage diverse groups of residents in collaborative discussions and decision-making driven by what they love most about their town—its “heart and soul.”

Chocorua, NH house for sale

Graceful 1900's farmhouse on 10 acres!This gracefully aged 1900’s farmhouse sits on over 10 acres of mostly wooded land.  There are 4 bedrooms, 1 3/4 baths, 2 stairways to the 2nd floor, a woodstove in both the living room and the kitchen.  The kitchen is charming and has bead board cabinets.  This house sits way back from the road for complete privacy.  There is more land available to the buyer of this nice property.  Price to sell @ $239,900

Grist mill wheel is turning

At the dedication and celebration of the Grist Mill water wheel this afternoon the new water wheel was blessed and turned on.  A board was removed and the small water flow started the water wheel turning at a steady rapid clip.
Plans call for the water wheel to generate electricity.

Lawyer jokes


The Will
A man went to his lawyer and said, “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.”

The lawyer said, “No problem, leave it all to me.”

The man looked somewhat upset and said, “Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I would like to leave a little to my children too!”

A lawyer cross-examined the adversary’s main witness. “You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards’ house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?”

“Objection, your honor,” shouted the other lawyer.

There then followed a long argument between lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.

“So,” the first lawyer continued, “Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?”

“Nothing,” said the witness. “No one was home.”

Bad Neighbors

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?”

The lawyer replied, “Of course, how much was the roast?”

“$7.98.” said the butcher.

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150

The Compliment

“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

“If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.

New Client

A lawyer opened his own office right after successfully passing the bar exam. Sitting idly at his desk, his secretary announced that a Mr. Baker was there to see him. He told his secretary to show him right in.

Thinking that it was a new client he wanted to make a good impression. As Mr. Baker was entering his office, the lawyer picked up the phone and yelled into it…”Absolutely not! You tell them I will not settle this case for less than five hundred thousand dollars. Don’t bother me again until that amount has been agreed to!”

Slamming the phone down, he greeted Mr. Baker saying, “How do you do Mr. Baker. What can I do to help you?”

Mr. Baker replied, “Hi, I’m from the phone company. I’m here to connect your phone.”

Justice Has Triumphed

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client. The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading “Justice has triumphed!”

The client wired back, “Appeal at once!”

Suit Settled

A young defense attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home totally elated.

“Dad, listen, you aren’t going to believe this,” he said to his father. “I’ve finally settled that old Whitmore suit.”

“Settled it!!” bellowed his father. “You bumbling idiot! We’ve been living off of that money for over five years now!”

I’m fine

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company to court.

In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” said the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the…….”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!'”

Farmer Joe said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, “Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her – how are you feeling?”

In the Diner

Two lawyers entered the diner and ordered a couple of drinks. They then took sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.

Seeing this, the angry owner went over to them and said, “Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!”

Shrugging their shoulders the lawyers exchanged sandwiches.

The Hamburger

Prosecutor : What were you doing on July 15th at 9 o’clock in the evening ?
Prisoner : I was eating hamburger.
Prosecutor : What were you doing at 9:30 p.m. ?
Prisoner : I was taking a bicarbonate of soda.
Prosecutor : Do you expect us to believe you ?
Prisoner : You would if you had eaten one of those hamburgers.

The Lawyer and the Federal Housing Authority

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Authority) loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):

“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

The lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

“Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U. S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U. S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus’ expedition. Now the Pope, as I’m sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope … you find His original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our FEDERAL FHA LOAN?”